10 Tips for Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships have been shown to boost our happiness, improve health, and reduce stress. Studies indicate that people with healthy relationships experience more joy and less stress. While every relationship is unique, there are fundamental ways to nurture healthy connections across various types of relationships, including friendships, work and family relationships, and romantic partnerships.

Tips for Healthy Relationships

1. Keep Expectations Realistic: No one can fulfill all our desires. Healthy relationships involve accepting people as they are without trying to change them.
2. Communicate Openly: Communication is vital for healthy relationships.
   • Take the Time: Be present.
   • Listen Genuinely: Avoid interrupting or planning your response. Aim to understand their perspective.
   • Ask Questions: Show interest by inquiring about their experiences, feelings, opinions, and interests.
   • Share Information: Sharing helps relationships grow. Let others know who you are without overwhelming them with too much personal information too soon.
3. Be Flexible: Changes can be unsettling, but healthy relationships accommodate growth and change.
4. Take Care of Yourself: Healthy relationships are mutual, catering to both individuals’ needs.
5. Be Dependable: Follow through on plans and responsibilities. Trustworthiness is key in healthy relationships.
6. Fight Fair: Conflict is a part of most relationships. Disagreeing doesn’t mean disliking each other.
   • Cool Down Before Talking: Discuss issues when emotions are calmer to avoid regrettable comments.
   • Use “I Statements”: Express your feelings and desires without blaming. For example, say “When you don’t call me, I feel like you don’t care” instead of “You never call me.”
   • Keep Language Clear and Specific: Describe behaviors factually without criticism or judgment. Address the problem, not the person.
   • Focus on the Current Issue: Avoid overwhelming the conversation with multiple grievances. Tackle one issue at a time.
   • Take Responsibility for Mistakes: Apologize if you’ve done something wrong; it helps mend the relationship.
7. Recognize Some Problems Are Hard to Solve: Not all differences can be resolved. Understand each other’s values, beliefs, and personalities, and determine what you can accept or if the relationship remains healthy for you.
8. Be Affirming: Relationship researcher John Gottman suggests a ratio of 5 positive interactions to every negative one for happy couples. Show warmth and affection.
9. Maintain Balance: While relationships are essential, they cannot fulfill every need. Pursue personal interests and activities. Healthy relationships allow space for outside engagements.
10. Understand It’s a Process: Building relationships takes time. Many people feel anxious about fitting in and getting along. Healthy relationships are learned and practiced, continually improving over time.
11. Be Yourself: Authenticity is more enjoyable than pretending to be someone else. Healthy relationships thrive on real, genuine connections.

Resources:

• APA – Relationships
• Gottman Institute
• CDC – Healthy Relationships